Chapter Four

Although he came back, it didn’t matter because what happened, happened and nothing can go back and erase the way he had treated me. I eventually ended up forgiving him, but we hardly ever talked. Life goes on, that’s what I always tell myself every day. I had to keep some kind of positive attitude sometimes even though I was experiencing the worst feeling I have ever felt. I finally came in terms of reality and realized that I was no longer in denial of the fact that I was taken advantage of by my ex boyfriend. Throughout this period of my life, I grew tiresome, confused, lifeless, and just depressed. I never understood how people could be so numb to emotions and other people’s feelings, until I became numb to my own. I don’t understand anything anymore, but I guess I’m content with that for right now. The only thing that keeps me going is the statement my father told me once, “time heals all wounds.” I guess I am just going to have to wait and hope that time will heal this wound. While I am in waiting though, I use my poetry as my therapy. To me, it is more than just words, it is my life, and it’s therapeutic to my soul. I guess my writing has always been my outlet to this cruel society and therefore I take my anger out with these words of pain and my feelings of numbness, which evolve into chapter four.