Today I found out that I have posttraumatic stress disorder. For people who don’t know what that is should definitely research it. My life never used to be so complicated until I started college. I was talking to one of my good friends today and she had told me how she was molested as a child. It saddens me to think of all the sick people out there in this world. Turns out she suffers from the same disorder as me. She asked me to explain to her what had happened to me and I just broke down crying and then I began to read this poem I had written.
: In Sequence:
From the depths of the ocean
To the surface of the ground
Not a day has gone by with one soft sound
The screaming
The shouting
The stinging burns
You hurt me
And left me
With nothing to earn
I gave you my heart
You buried it within
Piece by piece
And then stomped on it hard
Without a second thought
Jealousy possessed you
Caused you to control me
You ended up hurting me
Burning me
Using me
And even burying the end of me
Time has passed
Months have gone by
I am not in control of my own life
Your left helpless
And I even sometimes hear you cry
Yet I still care somewhat and I still ask myself why?
I reminisce back to that night:
Not even alone
I had somewhere to go
Yet I allowed you to stay
I was intoxicated with your lies
She left us alone to sleep
But you didn’t go home
You woke me abruptly
I tossed and turned
My thoughts
Still blurry
My covering was torn from me
I didn’t want to give in
But he controlled me
For I was intoxicated with no where to go
I didn’t trust you
I didn’t want you
I even told you no
But you still took control
And now I am left to think about what you had said
And what I thought happened
I don’t believe you
I am burying you this time
Deep, deep within myself
Without an utter of a sound
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