Sometimes when I wake up, I am automatically saddened that I had survived the night. I can no longer see the positive aspects of living. I feel that any day my life will be taken from me and I’m content with that. I know I have overcome a lot in my life at such a young age, but I still don’t understand how these experiences will help me grow. I’ve been having these reoccurring dreams of the ocean or some form of water. All I can see are the different shades of blue while the feelings of loneliness and abandonment take over my entity. I have all this anger built up and I don’t know how to conquer this.
: Loss Of Concentration:
I am on uncharted territory
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
It seems that I am lost at sea
With no one to save me
I cannot even see a piece of land before me
I look around
Yet the only thing I see is the salty sea
It’s inevitable
It’s right there
I’ve lost myself in this despair
Should I dive right in?
It seems I have thought about this many times
But I am tired of thinking about this at night
I can’t see any other way to survive
Because I dream about you every fucking night!
I can’t get you out of my mind
I want to sleep
I don’t want to fight
I’m no longer fighting with you
I’m fighting my mind
My fears have come out
They weren’t told to anyone
For they were not meant to be unleashed
Because you did enough
Every night
When you distorted my life
My fears are released
And are now tormenting me
They won’t go away on their own
For when I’m laying alone
They stay in my head
And I close my eyes
Not knowing what to do
Or what to say
To make them go away
I have no one to hold
No one to understand what injustice I have suffered
All I can do is take my shawl
Put it over my head
And hide under the covers
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