Today it rained, well, it was a light shower in the morning first, and then it rained. I left my umbrella at home, so I had to walk to all my classes soaking wet. When I was little, I remember I thought the rain was God’s way of washing out sins away, and now I cant help feeling that I’m getting washed away by the rain also. I had a long break between one of my classes and I decided to write in my journal, but I didn’t get a chance to write a lot because for the first time in a while, I was exhausted of writing about my misery. I’m sick of being dazed all the time. I think I need something stronger than the Zoloft, I wonder if there is something stronger.
: Paralyzed:
A loss of words
I’m speechless
I’m in a slump
A loss of words
No adjectives to describe this feeling
The verbs of despair
Are taking over everything
The synonyms of everything
Anything and beyond it
Is what I am feeling
There’s nothing to stop this
A loss of words
I’m lost
No one to understand me
For I can not even sign
My language is useless
For that’s how I was designed
I lost both my hands
I’m speechless and disabled
I’m left curled up in a corner
And I’m left to deteriorate
I’m speechless
I’m crying
My tears are just endless
Not drying one bit
For I have no hands to wipe my eyes with
I’m in a loss of words
There are no adjectives to describe this
For how can anyone want to survive this?
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