Page 57-Marvel: Feel surprise or wonder

Another day of rain, which obviously means another day without my umbrella. I can’t stand late classes because that just means another day of running for dear life into my house. I got home really late tonight and I had to run up my stairs because I have become so paranoid of someone attempting to chase me or attack me. I literally had to sit in my car for a while with my doors locked before I ran into my apartment. I wonder if I’ll ever appreciate the night again, I miss stargazing, and most of all I miss not being afraid. I’m sick of crying myself asleep every night and feeling so empty inside. I wouldn’t really call an hour or two actual sleep, but I get what I can. What can one do when illusions consume one’s mind? The rain definitely does something to my thought process; it just makes me think outside the box I usually am trapped in. Believe it or not, I’m actually starting to look at things in a more positive light. I know it’s easier said than done, but I can’t allow my past relationship to affect my future. Once I overcome all this, I will be stronger and once I am successful, I will finally be happy.

: The Effects In Progress:

Unwinding
The rain taking me away
My mind is clear
My body free from pain
Yet there is a cast around both my feet
For this is what happened to me:

I ran from you
Because you chased me away
I ran for miles every day
Distancing myself away from you
My body bear
For I gave you everything
Even my soul
I was left with not even a name of my own
For that is how deep I fell for you
And that’s when my feet began to bruise

I passed the trees
Not even taking time to enjoy the scene
I listened to you
You told me to go
But I still held on
I still had hope

As the rain came down hard
My body was soaked
I could feel the damp earth between my toes
So many thoughts came to me
I had to blink my eyes to see
For the water was submerging me
In that instant
I tripped over a stump of a tree
That is how my feet began to bleed

The day was far from lighter
The sun had just set
As the rain began to dissipate
I knew my body couldn’t rest
I saw you in my mind
It was a twisted attraction
That caused me dissatisfaction
That’s when I realized
That your love was a lie
For why would something so pure need to be proven
Why would you enjoy seeing me cry?

I still kept going though
Faster and harder
For I was a fighter
I ran for you
I ran to you
To prove you my love
And to tell you that I no longer wanted to be with you

As our eyes met
My feet began to break from under me
As my knees dropped to the ground
I took deep breaths
And explained to you my regret
And this is what I said:

You tore me apart
Bruised my heart
You tripped me up
And knocked me down
You made me fall over
And enjoyed my face in the ground
You even broke my bones
Can’t you see what you’re doing to me?
For you are the cause of why I can’t sleep
You don’t have to answer me
For I know you will try to justify yourself
But this is how it is
And this is how I feel
You promised me the world
For the world is not yours to give

I was counting on your love
But I went hungry for months
And now you want to explain
Just listen to me this time
I can’t let you feed me any more lies
How does that allow me to progress my life?



You’re selfish
A characteristic that is easy to deny
You’re a liar
A liar that caused me to become blind
But you’re also the liar that managed to help my life

You’re probably confused
You probably don’t understand
And your thinking I’ll come back
If some time will just pass
But you’re wrong
And only time can prove that
I don’t want to hear a word from your mouth
You better understand that
Listen to me
Pay attention
You never understood me
You were living in a lie
Your selfish little world
That possessed you to take control
Of not just me, but everybody

I denied your characteristics
I tried to better your life
Yet I listened to your wants
And tried to make them right
That is why I ran, when you chased me away
You thought I would come back closer
But it distanced me away

My mind is set right
I believe the rain cleansed me
It’s something you can’t understand
And maybe never experience
For your mind is not open

I will tell you this
Once and for all
If it wasn’t for your chase
I wouldn’t have realized so soon
What a mistake I had made











And for the bruises and the cuts
That is not love
But it allowed me to find my heart
As you consistently tried to break me apart
I ran back to tell you this
As I am before you now
I can no longer feel my legs
For I had nothing to break my falls
I didn’t have you
I just had myself
And I have realized that’s all I need
Is my self-respect

Unwinding
As the sun rises
My mind is clear
My body free from pain
Yet there is a cast around both my feet
But my body, soul, and mind have found tranquility