Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Page 47-Pure: Free of foreign matter, contamination, or corruption

I feel horrible today. Maybe it’s the weather that’s contributing to my feeling of discomfort. Remember when I had said how I thought my personality was addictive? Well, I guess it is in a way, but just like most addicts, they grow tired of their addictions and find something new to get addicted to. I always have thought of myself as being pure, but I’ve rarely been appreciated for this quality. Today I started to think how things could have been different if he hadn’t been so jealous and possessive over me. I know I’m not helping myself by thinking about it, but I can’t help it, I really did love him.

: Reminiscing “Him”:

A disgrace
The debris has become immense
There is so much waste

How could I let it get this bad?
I lost control
Lost hope
And ruined it all

I say I want things to change
Yet I make things this way

The way I live is bad
Not even a smile on my face
I no longer look forward to my days
I cannot look up
Because I’m too busy looking down in disgrace

I believe the equivalence of myself
Is the waste I left in this place
But the equivalence is not the same

I want something more
I needed something pure
I want to go back
I want you to make things right

I wanted you
Not this horrid waste
Not a substitute resembling your face

I miss your brilliant smile
And your mesmerizing ways
But when will you open your eyes and see
That my words are true
Your living in a fallacy

This debris has become immense
Even more than you can take
It’s made you lose hope
And get out of control

I love you
I need you
I want you just the way you are
Don’t try to be something your not
For this waste is tearing me apart
And is the cause of how we broke apart

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