I passed out today and when my eyes opened, I found myself laying flat down on my kitchen floor. I don’t remember what happened, but I have a bruise on my arm to show for my fall. After I fell, I had written from my stream of consciousness. I sound myself submerged by water again. I don’t know why or how, but I guess that’s my subconscious trying to drown out my fears. : Daydreaming: So clear So pure and serene I’m under the sea My eyes opened one minute And close the next I’m on top of the world Yet below it all I look below Clear as glass I’m waiting to take that plunge But before I jump I take one last breath With no regrets I jump The sound of cutting glass Then I am under I am healed from the wounds Not even an existing scare to prove I am under The way it feels against my skin So slick, so smooth, and cool The way it makes me feel I’m rejuvenated, I’m pure and anew Once I am in, I don’t want to come out I want to hear the sounds The serene noises The simplicity of this moment The calmness of what I wish the world could be So clean it feels against my body, so innocently pure Once I make my way to the surface I am looked upon in horrid dismay For I have scars and wounds that never went away I am hit with the reality that these marks are real I cannot even hide them Is this the way things are supposed to be? For where am I? Is this world I live in purgatory? I cannot refrain from these thoughts I can’t help that my mind strays That is why I long for this serene, cool wonderful place I want to jump in and never get out I want to hide from my scars I want my pain to disappear For with pleasure you get pain But when will the day come where this pain will go away? For I love plunging in without getting scared For I love the depths of the water How could a feeling of tranquility go this far?
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